Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the biscuit say when he saw his friend get run over? Oh my god. Dave, are you ok? Somebody call an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's blue? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is average.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

thumb_up thumb_down +5

EVAN RAMSEY -CAD CLASS!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops