Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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?J?o?k?e?

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

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Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

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I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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