Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

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The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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I am very humble.

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How do the american stop getting fat ? They don't.

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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