How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

But who would want to sell us out and why?

6

What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

A British man walks into a dentist's office.

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

why didn't santa deliver any presents this christmas? Because he isn't real

Q: Why did the chicken cross the side of the road? A: To get to the other vagina

The NBA and womens sports

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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