Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

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A rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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The dewey decimal system

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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What's two plus two? Window

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Basically

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i think quinn is gay? you probably don't know him but when i walked him on him shoveling a ken doll is his butt

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I wrote a funny joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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