two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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why did the girl fall off the swing ? because she had no arms.

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I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

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A boy walks into a shop He buys some sweets.

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Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

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No soap radio

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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