a blind man walks into a wall

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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follow @nils_kosmo on twatter hehe

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

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A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Bitch

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What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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the little boy got in a ice cream truck he cant sit down anymore

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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Why was the black man arrested? Tax evasion.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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