How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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why did the boy have to go to the dentist he was hit by a brick

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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sorry, that was a really bad joke, joking just joking, of course we can chat later, you got something in particular to do?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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WHAT????

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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Yo momma is so fat, that when I went over to your house and accidentally stepped on a skateboard, yo momma came out and said "get the %$^# off the skateboard!"

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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whats worse than god meaner than the devil. the poor have it the rich need it nothing

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how do you save a black man ... u don't

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What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops