Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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What is worst about the great white shark? It's hundreds of sharp teeth, strong tail, or subtle racism? Probably the teeth.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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Who does creatine? James Cornish

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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What did the coal miner get for Christmas? Black Lung Disease

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

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what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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How are bananas and friends alike? If you peel their skin and eat them

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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