why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

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When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

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What is long and black? The line at KFC

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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A man penetrates another man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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