A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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knock knock who's there who who who who who what are you a retarded owl

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A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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Homonyms should be band.

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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