What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

The eighties called They were pretty exited about inventing a telephone that can call the future

what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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