Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

thumb_up thumb_down -2

look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A chicken walked into the bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops