how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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soccer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops