What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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dry handjob

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did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican walk into a bar. They have a beer, enjoy some pleasant conversation, then go home to their families.

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Nickleback.

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I know you are but what am I? Gay.

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Q:What do you call a black man flying a plane? A: An over-used anti-joke

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What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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