Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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