Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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This is an anti joke

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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