Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

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You will not press the like button.

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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its's not rape if you yell "suprise!"

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Illumati Confirmed

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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