Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

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What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the black person

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops