An underage man walks into a bar. He then was shot and kicked out of the bar. An overage person found the body. What age is he? Normal Age

Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

refridgrator

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

what's the difference between a crocodile?

What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969

What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...