Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

What is 1+1? It's 2!

Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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