were you expecting a joke

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Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops