YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

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Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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What made people stop likeing Ice tea? Ice-T

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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Roses come in a variety of colors.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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The situation... Two black men are skiing down the Sahara. The Question... How much syrup does it take to kill a life-guard. The answer... The sunglasses because he never be a porcupine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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