there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what do u call a apple a apple

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +28

After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops