Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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A man penetrates another man.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew. One's a tasty delicious snack and the other one's a pizza.

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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Ron Paul for President!

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock? Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by black guys? -Steve Nash

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Christianity

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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