What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How does shit taste?\ Good.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings! What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Adelle....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear about the german girl who had sex and died................. it was 50 years later after she had a family of about five kids and lived a happy life as a nurse

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't he finish his

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops