Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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DERP

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops