YOU

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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Cows are land manatees.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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Why do Mexicans get made fun of? Because they are Mexican

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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A caar pllus itno a graege. You are probably dyslexic.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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