I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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What do you call two black men and a hispanic man in the back of a car? The punchline of this joke is offensive, and might bring legal troubles to Anti-Joke.Com and it's subsidiaries. For these reasons, Anti-Joke.Com will not allow it to be shown.

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A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

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Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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The Earth is a nice place to live.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Kid 1: Hey, guess what? Kid 2: Your MOM! HAHA! Kid 1:... My mother died two months ago from brain cancer after being shot in the head while fighting for our country in Iraq... Kid 2:.... um.. Your mom...?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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Whats worse than a joke? This

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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