This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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Where are you going Your house

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Christianity

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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