roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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Why was 6 afraid of 8 because 8 kidnap 7

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

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whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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stinky boner

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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No, luke. I am your father. damnit

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CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

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hello anomonous

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Ok, for Christ’s sake, these sh!tty “animals falling out of a tree” jokes are NOT funny; they were never funny and they’re certainly not getting any funnier with you rehashing them every 5 posts. Fncking stop it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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what's gay as AIDS? The way you got it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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