A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

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Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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H o m o comes out as homo

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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Ahem. Testicles. That is all.

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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