I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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Hhahahahahhahhahahahahhaahhayournanisdeadhahhahahahahahahah

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Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

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YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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What's black and can't climb trees? A parking lot

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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A man walks into a bar... "Ouch"

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A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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