What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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Vicky is my best friend.

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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Justin's humor

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Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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kieran scott has a huge back

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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