If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a psychopath, that's why.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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How do you break up a fight between two blacks I have ADD and Im proud of it

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69

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Adele walks into the stables

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tuna fish dolphins sharks idk

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IMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiiooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooodfssgihsfdiug

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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2 Penises

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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