I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

Guess what. Chicken butt.

Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

What do you do when you see someone from the kkk? Accept what you saw and move on with your day

knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

What do you call a dead cow? Dead Meat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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