A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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Anti-joke.com

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

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What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

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Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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