What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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Women's rights

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why didn't the blond laugh at the anti-joke? because, she was aborted in her mom's third trimester

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what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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A horse walks into a bar, realizes that he shouldnt be here so he walks out.

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Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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