What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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I pooped.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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A chicken walks into a McDonald's and the cashier asked the chicken what he would like to order. A man waiting for his meal walked out realizing that the employees of this restaurant were not who he wanted making his food.

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

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An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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