How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

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this is not an anti joke

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

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Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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my gramma died

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Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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