Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

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It was a warm summer day when justin beiber got hit by the bus everyone was cheering

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

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How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

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What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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