What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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women's rights.

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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