How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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I pooped.

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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Who got sarah pregnant? No one knows. She was a whore.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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