why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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Health food.

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

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if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

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What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops