once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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i like pie.

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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