ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

alston wang

A guy says a joke. It was not funny

How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

Justin Bieber got laid

A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

What do black people eat for breakfast? Cereal.

Q: What did Cyclops say to Wolverine? A: "We're both X-Men!"

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

melon

your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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