What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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You have cancer

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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shea kisses a girl

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

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Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops