Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

Your mom.

My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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