A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Women's Rights.

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

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Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

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Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

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I pooped my pants

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What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops