A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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What did one Black man say to the other Black man before they ate? I hope you're hungry!

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A disabled man walks into a bar.

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what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Barack Obama

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I need a good anti joke....

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What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

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Why are the British so uptight? I don't think they are.

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This is not an anti joke.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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where wally? wallys a myth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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