Woman.

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Penal Dysfunction

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Aodhan peanut head Hearty

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

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a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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The BCS

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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Why was the baby crying? Because you repeatly hit it in the face with a brick, you sick freak.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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